Day Sleeper or How I got my days and nights mixed up

As many of you know, I have a new baby!  She will be five months old very soon and is a dream.  She sleeps well at night, belly laughs, and can turn over faster then the Cowboys.  She sleeps about 5 and a half hours (in a row!) at night and everyone says “Oh that’s so great! Aren’t you just thrilled to be getting some sleep again?”  Well, apparently when “normal” people get to this stage in babyland they sleep.  At night.  When you’re supposed to.  I don’t.  I clean, post things to facebook, crush imaginary candy, watch tv and bake pretend things on my ipad.  I also have acquired my very own Theme Park (also on ipad) and Restaurant. Oh, the time I waste is unreal!  I lay in bed next to Hadley’s crib and play these games, and watch TV all the while pretending that I am not watching the baby sleep.  I don’t need constant reassurance that she is a) not choking on her drool, b) has not stopped breathing or c) has decided to flip on her belly (GASP!).  Right.  I have one of those monitors that alert you if the worst happens, but still I keep a careful watch on my healthy baby.  Yes, I am crazy.  But, I imagine I’m not alone, surely there are other Mommys out there are doing the very same thing that I do (probably with less imaginary baked goods).  You don’t have to reassure me that everything is fine.  I know that, but at night I forget.  I have even woken her for a bottle when it seemed to me that it had just been too long since she had eaten and feared starvation.  Yes, it happened.  She was not impressed.

Yes, she sleeps.
Yes, she sleeps.

Another night I lost a tylenol somewhere and in my crazy mind it had somehow flipped into her mouth where surely it melted immediately.  Boy, that was a fun night.  I fished in her mouth not once but twice for the pill.  In the morning I knew this was ridiculous, but at night I lost it.  There are moments of pure bliss when she is drinking her bottle and looking up at me like I am her whole world and she knows I will keep her safe from everything.  And I will, or die of sleep deprivation first.

Tonight, I made the trek to Walgreen’s to get dishwasher detergent and natural sleep aids.  Later, I will try them.  We’ll see since I have proven that I can stay fully alert on Ambien or Xanax.  Of course, I have to be able to somewhat function for that 4 a.m. bottle feeding, so we’ll see.  I know soon she will sleep all night and hopefully then I will get back to some sort of schedule.  I hope.


Ways this has affected my day to day life: I sleep during the day now.  Usually from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.  I wake feeling guilty that I have slept.  Nice, huh? I know I deserve some rest, but it just feels weird to sleep that much in the day time while my sweet husband does all the baby duties.  Of course, I imagine them playing and giggling and not really being that much work at all, but that’s not fair.


My sister is going to have her baby girl very, very soon so I need to be ready to go at a moments notice so that I will get to see my daughter’s best friend come into this world.  If that happens between midnight and 6 a.m. I am GOLDEN!  From 8 a.m. to noon…not so much.  I can’t wait for her to get here!  I am so excited to see my sister as a Mommy.  My baby sister, who I occasionally still envision as her 8 year old self with braids and a bad attitude.  She was one tough cookie as a child, she still is and I know labor will be no match for her.  Yes, this waiting and worrying is another thing that keeps me awake.  I tell her everything I know about babies (leaving out the whole one person MUST be awake at all times thing) and she listens open minded at my babbling about the right diapers to buy, which bottles to use and that above all else you must listen to the doctor in the delivery room.  I ramble on about blankets, colic remedies, dreaded gas, and the fact that baby socks should always be bought in sets of at least four since most of them mysteriously vanish between the washer and dryer.  I have discussed the finer points of swaddling, the fact that sometimes your milk just doesn’t come in and you don’t get to breast feed like you planned and how planning is just foolish anyway with a baby.  She and her husband have read tons of books (bless their hearts!) about all of this and have their own opinions.  When will they learn that I am always right about everything?  When will anyone, in fact?  Oh well, they’ll figure it out.  We all do right?  I know most of you would tell me to keep my trap shut and let them do their own thing, but then most of you don’t know me well enough yet.  (this is only blog entry #2 of my crazy life after all) after a while with me you’ll find that I have some control issues. Understatement.  I NEED to tell you and anyone else I come in contact with that has a problem that they have foolishly let me in on.  I have opinions!  Lots of them!  Some love me for it and embrace the “Right” way of doing things, but others sadly don’t listen.  Oh, I’m a mess.

My Sister worrying that she will go the full 40 weeks…


So, on Thursday my sister and I went with my Mom to the cardiologist.  At her yearly OB/Gyn appointment our beloved Dr. Anding noticed an arrhythmia in her heart rate.  He insisted that we go right away for an EKG, knowing all of us quite well, he said THIS WEEK because if we had been left to our own devices we may have tried to slip the new baby in there before.  Suitably freaked out, we got an appointment and an order from Mom’s Arthritis doctor whom she sees monthly, or so we thought.  Wise one that I am I just stayed up to go to the 8 a.m. appointment.  My sister and Mom picked me up while my husband grudgingly took the baby (In her PJs) to the car line to drop off our son at school.  As I waited outside for them to get me, I was absolutely terrified.  What would we find out?  Did she have heart disease?  Did she need a octuple bypass?  What was going to happen?  They arrived and as soon as I got in the car and saw my Mom smiling I calmed down a bit.  She looked good, not near death like I feared.  She actually poo poohed the whole thing.  We weren’t convinced, and headed to Memorial City for the EKG.  In the car it pretty much went like it always does when you get with your best girls and laugh so hard that you almost pee your pants.  We discussed the fact that my sister was presently furious at her husband because he suggested that she not go into labor until he finished up some projects at work.  Now, I know he was most likely joking, but she was MAD!!  A drive down a bumpy road was suggested and tabled.  Spicy food was entertained as was castor oil (NO!)  At that moment we were all on board with getting that baby out TODAY!  (didn’t happen).


We arrived at the Cardiologist optimistic that it would be fast and we would immediately know the result and be on our way to eat at a cute restaurant (up there on the list of things to do when you are 38 weeks pregnant.)  Oh, we were in for it!  Upon arrival we were asked to fill out lots of paper work which included the question: What street drugs are you currently taking and how much?  Then after composing the list of meds (legal) that my Mom takes to keep her upright we were informed that no order was ever submitted.  Awesome.  After a call to Mom’s Doctor the service told us that they didn’t open until 9 and we would have to wait until then to talk to someone.  At 9 a delightful women informed us that the doctor had failed to sign the order and they didn’t fax it.  Then she dropped the bomb.  The doctor was not in.  She had taken a personal day to take her kids for a check up.  Her children are precious!  A boy and a girl six months apart.  Yes, SIX months.  After years of trying they hired a surrogate and were finally going to get their baby.  Six months later she discovered she was in fact pregnant as well, but that’s another story.

My sister filling out 1/2 of the paperwork.
My sister filling out 1/2 of the paperwork.

I asked the incredibly informative woman on the phone what she would have us do since we, the cardiologist and Mom’s heart were all prepared for an EKG today.  Apparently, the tone in my voice projected to her as DO NOT MESS WITH ME, and she said she would call her.  Fifteen minutes later we had our order.  Boy, I am a force to be reckoned with over the phone!  Five minutes after that we were done with the EKG.  Then we were told that our doctor would get the result later that day.  The very same doctor who was out of the office until Monday.  Umm, crap.  Thankfully, it occurred to me to add her other doctor to the list of people getting the result so we wouldn’t  all obsess over it it all weekend.

Waiting for the ORDERS.  Yes, her shirt says 'Let Me Out".  I was not informed to wear turquoise, apparently the color of EKG appointments and labor willing.
Waiting for the ORDERS. Yes, her shirt says ‘Let Me Out”. I was not informed to wear turquoise, apparently the color of EKG appointments and labor willing.



We headed to Town and Country to Flora & Muse for brunch since it was just passed 10 a.m. at this point.  I love this place!  They have Eggs Benedict, which for me is more proof that God is real and he loves us.  I had that and a mexican coke (the ones with REAL sugar).  More plotting was discussed on getting the baby out of my sister’s  belly.  Cupcakes next door also seemed like a great idea until my Mom vetoed that while my sister made her 42nd trip to the bathroom.  Apparently, my Mom wasn’t as eager to walk the baby out as she pretended when my sister was within earshot.  So, I made some excuse about needing to get home and my sister relented grudgingly, because cupcakes are always a great idea when you are pregnant.  Upon arriving at my house they came in because, shocker, my sister needed to go to the bathroom.  And after they woke Hadley from her nap and played with her to the point where nap-time was just a distant memory they left.  I handed the baby to my husband and headed back to bed to wait for the results.  Finally, at 4 I called them and was told “Oh Mom didn’t call you? The EKG came back fine.”  Well, praise the Lord, and thanks for letting your obsessive compulsive sister know as soon as you could.  So, we are relieved even though the doctor wants it checked again in a couple of weeks.

Pitter, Patter... I'm okay, but the grand daughters are doomed to be dressed like twins.
Pitter, Patter… I’m okay, but the grand daughters are doomed to be dressed like twins.

 So, to sum up: I’m still crazy, my sister is still pregnant and my Mom probably had her heart fluttering at the prospect of dressing her two grand daughters alike like she used with my sister and I. I too, can’t wait.  Seriously, I can’t.  Control issues remember?

6 thoughts on “Day Sleeper or How I got my days and nights mixed up

  1. Vivian"STAR" Condon says:

    Loved the BLOG and you know I love you because you have such great taste in names…as in HADLEY like my granddaughter HADLEY!!
    I thought I would have fun dragging myself along with you three if I could keep up! But, in the food category I would pass you up with flying colors!!
    Please tell your sister to push like crazy and ask for that epidural ASAP!! As for your Mom she is the same OL Gal I remember full of fun and energy.
    Good luck with the grandchildren for they are truly GRAND!!

  2. Jennifer Brown says:

    Good to see some things never change! The pics make me home sick. Miss you guys so much! Dale looks fabulous! She hasn’t changed in 20 years.

  3. says:

    Love you to Jen! Miss you! Now you know why I rarely answer the phone in the A.M.

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